


janey's nerdy ass club, a mothers day fanfic

by Ironicspoon



Series: Janey's Nerdyass Club [1]
Category: Janey's Nerdy Ass Club
Genre: Other, have low expectations, no one outside the Chat(tm) will get it, ur welcome mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 03:04:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6782722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironicspoon/pseuds/Ironicspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>alber gets real</p>
            </blockquote>





	janey's nerdy ass club, a mothers day fanfic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bathsope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bathsope/gifts).



> Happy mothers day, al!!! love ur gr8 kids, kayla & janey

Amber came home after a noice noice noice day of recording in el studio at el studio de sm entertainmento. “WIFEY AL IM HOMEEEEE.” she said opening the door to the warm home and stepping inside. .

naturally, Janey and Kayla started screeching right away, a normal family happening in their house. Cori looked like she was ready to kill them both, and Miya honestly just wanted dinner.

“MI HIJAS.” amber yelled at the kids whipping out her lit spanish skills. She had a group hug with the smol kids and then went around the house searching for al.

their dozen cats and dogs laid around the house, Amber petting them all.

“AYYY YOONJIN HOW YA DOIN. oh hey namseok II, didn't see u there. what's up yoonseok, iT s LIT,” she says, greeting all their pets b4 finding al in the kitchen where she wasn't cooking, but laying on the ground and waiting for someone else to do the cooking for her, waiting for inevitable **bAD COOKING**

In the near distance around the corner u could here **fIRE** being blasted PROMO PROMO PROMO GO WATCH IT. from kayla’s share room with rin (: sHur uP u SHARE A ROOM W ME WYD -Janey :((((((

“Guys how do u say a heart emoji irl I need one.” kayla said.

“♡no u do this kids.” coro said from the other side of the room next to her jungkook shrine that stared into kaylas soul every night and made her cri tbh bc its very overwhelming like uk im not happy uk IM CRYING U Kno.

“you say heart emoji,” Janey says, “is u dumb?”

“no, bother of you are dumb,” Corinne, the gr8 older sister reminds them, and they cry.

“ _No, bother of you are dumb_ ,” kayla said repeating rin’s sentence like a creep echoing it throughout the smol bedroom.

“ _ **. . . bother of you are dumb**_ ,”  
“. ** _. .bother of you_** ” “yoonjilluminati” kayla chanted over hObis lit rapping skills. and Janey cries again again again as the 94 line does their joint rap and she needs to close her fic for a sec to _**#BLESS**_

“yes,” Janey agrees, apparently them being the only ones who can speak the trash language Kayla screeches in constantly. ::jaygay kaygay kayjay no that's ~~**_#INCEST_**~~

al and Amber come into the living room to check on the kids, seeing that Coro had Janey in a chokehold on the ground and Miya was hungry and probs planning world domination. Bc miya is a smol smart bean who doesnt say much but probably is planning ur murder. Highkey.

Coro lets go BC land of the free rite and Janey the smol bean tries to hide behind her parents but fails when she realizes that she towers over both of them even tho this is a **_#SAFE SPACE_** and no _**#HEIGHT DISCRIMINATION**_

“JANEY SHUT UP U ALWAYS SAY UR GONNA STEP ON ME WHAT IS THIS. U HEIGHT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ME.” kayla says the same height as sweet mama al .

“Ye.” the legend of coro agrees.

“grandpas YOONJIn would treat me like THHIS,” Janey sniffs and Amber pats her back.

“it's okay smol bean, luv u.” no one said. (mOM Amber said BC she's better than all of u)

dinner actually goes well the fams chill for once until Amber asks abt their day and every THIG  
goes  
downhill bc yoonmin. no because of the fight stick to the storyline GDI Kayla wyd .i u Al - A n k i t a

“I WILL BLAME YOONMIN ON ALL OF THIS WORLD’S PROBLEMS UNTIL THEY DISAPPEAR” kayla protested standing on the table with a the end is near sign and a pic of yoonmin on it.

“this has nothing to do with our initial convo but ok,” Miya says and they all nod. Janey asks Kayla if she's dumb again an d they cry  
JANEY I WILL LKLKDLKASDKJFL oooo heigh discrimination.

~~ _**HEIGH janey how do we have 6 pages of bs SHHHHHHG ITS F I N E** _ ~~

while they're not looking, Miya eats everything on the table and Corinne and Janey eat the table. Kayla eats the utensils and Amber and al are confused BC what the fuck is wrong w their children. But they just hug bc alber otp ship sail yes Y _ **A s . WAVE GO LISTEN TO IT PROMO. (;**_

 

“anyway, today mom was v (taebae-a) rood to us,” Janey :(‘s and no one nods bc janey is a liar tho. (kayla that's kinda mean :(((::::)

“y'all fake ass hoes,” cori says and they all gasp and put her in timeout for 5 mins as Miya nods and says yEs to that.

“is al #2 still missing?” Amber asks her wife and al nods sadly. their oldest trash can is still gone and occasionally sends them potted cacti, but that's it. al is a meme, and constantly asks for her daughter to come back from war. they cry again and Coro is allowed to come back to dinner.

“fOREVERRRRRRRR we are YOUunnnnngg.” miya suddenly stands up on her chair and chants loudly trying to lighten the mood bc it gotta be lit. (;

“no but how was ur day,” Amber asks BC she asked the same question half an hour ago and no one answered. nothing gets answered in this family. Bc everyone is trash. Especially kayla whos grandaddy yoongi trash. jaNAEy WHOS HYUNG LINE SHIPPING TRASH

“it was nice and lit,” Miya says and Amber nods and is thankful one of them isn't a complete høe before Coro stands up.

“today I killed some1,” she says and Amber is proud of her daughter. she reduced her killing sprees form seven ppl a day to only one. wow.

Secretly kayla knows it was those hoes on her volleyball team who called her chunky bc theyre trashy mfs and ( ^ : rip.

“good job,” Janey beams, looking up to her olde rsister. she loves killing ppl too and she hopes one day she can be as accepted as Coro is and kill as many ppl as she wAnts.

“HAHA LITERALLY UR SHORTER THAN HER HAHA.” mama al laughs at her murderous kids.

“I'll step on u mom,” Coro and Janey say at the same time, their w3r1 connected souls coming out again.

“GUYS U CANT SAY TAHT TO MOM THAT SRUDE RESPECT UR ELDER.” kayla yelled at her tol sisters even tho she was older and cooler. ( : 십쑈샙 The ending tho.

“no but today was bad,” Janey says sadly as she retellS a her day.

it all starts @ 1:00 am, she had gotten exactly -49 hours of sleep b4-which is horrible bc she has testing wot is this kid doing staying up watching astro.K WAS STUDYING FOR MY MATH FINAL DO U EVEN R E A D MY IG CAPTIONS SMH THEY’RE SO LONG OMG I READ MOST OF THEM IM. wow I trusted u :’)  
sHUTup I do read EM im a good kid ik u so much crap yo

al threw the door open to the kid's room, screeching,” _**y’ALL BETTER WAKE THE FUCK UP BEFORE YOU GET SLAPPED THE FUCK UP**_.”

“that is not what happened,” cori says, looking up from her blackberry, “mom’s not that aggressive.”

“but she is,” Janey the smol dumpling screeched truthfully, putting a hand to her chest, “i’ve suffered this exact abuse for SIX years.”

“you're thirteen.” corgo pointed at the calendar displaying janey's bday from last weEk.

“no, i'm six.”

“then how did it really go?” Janey asks and Kayla jumps up from her seat in the shadows where she was plotting yoonmin’s murder.

“I bELIEVE I WILL BE TELLING THE STORY nOw.”

**KAYLA’S ~~SUNSHINEY~~ POV ~~WHICH CONSISTED OF GOOD STUFF~~**

Mama al slammed the door open bc all the lazy kids were sleeping like bums. “GUYS GET UP I MADE BREAKFAST” she yelled. It was mother’s day and I had bought her a NOICE NOICE NOCIE NOICE NOICE noice. Noice. Hobi skirt. (~:

“wAIT,” Janey screeches and shuts down kaylas monologue,” I WAS GONNA BUY HER A YOONSEOK SHRINE OKAY NOT ALL OF US ACTUALLY HAVE MONEY.”

“YOU HAVE $290 IN BIRTHDAY MONEY FROM GRAND ** _DADDY_** YOONGS BUY ME A SCOOTER.” kayla yelled. lit Janey tried to mention that YOONJIN grandparents both bought them scooters but Kayla tell she's to stfu and she cries

“you know what,” Janey says solemnly, looking at her piggy bank, “not all of us are good savers, alright, some of us are capable of spending their birthday money in a week ya feel-”

“U cheapo wot did u buy?” miya asked accusingly. (^:

**_Amber stares at her kids, wondering why they were all so ducking strange. Quack quack._ **

“none of the is accurate,” al says, clearing her throat.

“ at approximately 4:30 am, I woke up my lovely children to eat so they don't starve. Janey, the aCTUAL CHILD slept for about two more hours, but the rest listened. as they walked calmly downstairs, I backflipped into the foyer as you were leaving for work, handing you a coffee and LISTENING TO UR NEW SONG WAVE. lit. aNd other thing s married ppl do on the way out.”

“I BEG TO DIFFER,” Janey screeches, standing up, “my five blankets were taken away from me since I couldn't wake up, my cruel mother threatening to wreck my YOONJIN shrine. I cried.”

“THATS A LIE TOO.” kayla interrupted. “MAMA AL IS SUCH A GOOD PERSON HOW ELSE ARE U SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP IF SHE DOESNT TAKE AWAY UR BURRITO BLANKETS. SHES HELPING U TO LIVE.”

“lmao true,” Janey says and they laugh and ye.

then al made them a full course meal BC Amber made her and. _**THE END.**_

**Author's Note:**

> ye ur wlcome---here's some bits of kayla and janey::::::
> 
> no no we still have 2 do the beginning WHATS THE BEGINNING tihs is nice 3 pages of bs  
> we haven't done the beginning fur  
> LIKE AMBER COMES HIME AND WE RE LIKE YOOOOO MOM LEMME TELL U A STORY  
> Jrandom bullet but ok CHER UP BABY CHER UP BDBAY sos  
> OMG WAIT AMBERS SONG she was saying ride the wave I THOUGHTwow. yes rDE  
> oH mY gOODISOOo  
> W8 the grandparents are YOONJIN  
> Kayla tell ur side of the morning now. FFS BUT DOESNT AL LIKE JIN DONT U LIKESHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH dumbo whale JIN haha yoongi is my grandDADDY sorry SHHHHHHHHH YOONJIN ARE THE GRANDPARENTS  
> . O K. AY  
> USE THAT AS DIALOGUE KILLcHIl sMALLER FonTab YOONMIN. I  
> y do u hurt me this way sh its going so well im the editor THI STORY RIWLL LIVFE wow typing tHIS IS LIKE ONE OF CRACKTHE BEST FICS YES  
> can u chill  
> No wot THIS IS GOOGLE DOCS Boi THERE IS NO CHIILLLLlllll yoonseok keep all the edits tho  
> u kno what  
> is trash so it's fine  
> THATS WHAT I MEAN  
> wHAT EDITS  
> yo can we keep this bg convo in for like end  
> this is gold  
> and a complete mess 
> 
> Omg is this like a story in a story and then its a dream and amber wakes up confused WHAT what  
> kAYLA No gdi  
> kAYLA No THIS IS FUNNY W (:  
> WHAT can i just spam yoonseok
> 
> (: BUt momma al is so kind omg amber is the dad (~: corgi SURE LETS DO THAT 
> 
> I have an idea  
> what is like is us telling Amber BC she's our other mom how al takes care of us  
> and I make her sound rlly aggressive and u make her sound nice af and Miya is passive and Coro gives literally 0 shits 
> 
> cries LIT IM HERE
> 
>  
> 
> sToP tHISMALDNESS 
> 
> wait lemme  
> Really janey “the kids’s room” REALKY
> 
> I SEARCHED UP JIN BEING RUDE  
> http://40.media.tumblr.com/27bb7a024f36bac1e72fdd105a9238d1/tumblr_nwdacq6eJj1rtrvvno1_500.jpg GRANDADDY JIN
> 
> ARE WE DONE THIS IS SEVEN PAGES OF BS HOW OMG SEVEN PAGES OMGSEVEN MEMBERS OMG BTS OMG FIRE OMG PROMO GO WATCH IT omg YES WE R DONEyoonjilluminati namseok confirmed. YEY.  
> 민윤기


End file.
